Is Your Neurologist Gaslighting You?

Living with MS is hard enough without feeling dismissed or undermined by the person who's supposed to help you manage it. Unfortunately, not all neurologists are created equal, and some might leave you wondering, "Am I being gaslit, or is this just bad bedside manner?"

Take my first neurologist, for example. Her knowledge of MS seemed frozen in time—stuck somewhere in the early '90s when flannel was in, and medical school lectures on MS were a quick footnote. Spoiler: MS treatment has evolved a lot since then.

Let's break it down—here's how to spot the red flags and what to do if your neurologist is giving you more doubt than answers.

What Gaslighting Looks Like in the Doctor's Office

1. "It's All in Your Head"
   When you describe new symptoms, and they wave it off as anxiety or stress without exploring further. Spoiler alert: just because MS messes with your brain doesn't mean everything is a mental health issue.
2. "That's Not an MS Symptom"
   Oh, really? Because a quick Google search or chat with other MS warriors suggests otherwise. If your doctor dismisses your symptoms because they're not "classic MS," it might be time to get a second opinion.
3. "Your MRI Looks Fine, So You're Fine"
   Your MRI might not light up like a Christmas tree, but that doesn't mean your symptoms aren't real. MS isn't just about what shows up on scans—it's about how you feel.
4. Rushed or Dismissive Responses
   When your doctor barely listens, brushes off your questions, or makes you feel like an inconvenience for needing answers, that's a problem.
5. Pushing Treatments You Don't Want
   If you're being pressured into a DMT or treatment plan that doesn't align with your needs or comfort level, that's a huge red flag. Advocacy is a two-way street, and your preferences should matter.

How to Handle It

1. Come Prepared
   Arm yourself with a list of symptoms, questions, and even research. Having specifics makes it harder for them to dismiss you. This is where the MS Sucks Journal shines—track your symptoms, flare-ups, and medications so you can walk into that appointment armed with facts instead of vague recollections. Trust me, it's harder for them to brush you off when you've got a detailed account of your MS chaos.
2. Document Everything
   Take notes during appointments and write down what's said. If you feel dismissed or misled, having a record can help you advocate for yourself later.
3. Ask for Clarification
   Challenge vague or dismissive statements with, "Can you explain that in more detail?" Sometimes, putting them on the spot can reveal whether they're actually listening or just trying to rush you out.
4. Trust Your Gut
   If something feels off, it probably is. You know your body better than anyone else—don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.
5. Get a Second Opinion
   You're not married to your neurologist (thankfully). If they're not meeting your needs, find someone who will. Plenty of MS Specialists and General Neurologists actually listen and want to help.

When to Say Goodbye

• Listen to your concerns without judgment.
• Work with you to create a treatment plan that aligns with your goals.
• Be honest without being dismissive.

Closing Thoughts