MS Brain Fog or Early-Onset Goldfish Syndrome?

Ever walked into a room with confidence, only to immediately forget why you're there? Stood in front of an open fridge, staring blankly at the contents like they might suddenly reveal your missing thought? Congratulations—you might have MS brain fog, or you're slowly transforming into a goldfish. Either way, good luck remembering what you were supposed to do.

MS brain fog isn't your average forgetfulness. This is next-level, Olympic-tier mental short-circuiting. You don't just forget little things—you forget the entire process of thinking. Words? Gone. Tasks? What tasks? Names? Might as well have never learned them.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing MS Brain Fog

• Completely losing your train of thought mid-sentence, leaving everyone—including yourself—wondering what the hell you were talking about.
• Walking into a room with purpose, immediately forgetting why, and pretending to inspect something so it doesn’t look like you just had a full system shutdown.
• Putting your phone down, spending 15 minutes searching for it, and realizing you were literally holding it the entire time.
• Staring at an object, knowing it has a name, but your brain has decided to gatekeep that information indefinitely.
• Writing a to-do list to stay organized, only to forget where you put the damn list.
• Putting things in completely random places and not realizing it until days later—like finding the carton milk in a kitchen cabinet while searching what that awful smell is in the kitchen.

So, is it brain fog or goldfish syndrome?

Good question. Too bad I won't remember asking it in five seconds.

MS brain fog isn't just your standard oops-I-forgot moment. It's next-level, industrial-grade cognitive fuckery. One minute, you're mid-sentence, full of confidence. The next? Gone. Words? Vanished. Thoughts? Lost in the void. Where were you going? What were you doing? No idea.

It's like living life as a goldfish with a memory reset button. Except instead of happily swimming in circles, you're standing in the kitchen, holding a spoon, with absolutely no clue why you're there. Or better yet—spending 20 minutes searching for your phone while it's in your goddamn hand.

So, is it brain fog or early-onset goldfish syndrome? Who the hell knows. But one thing's for sure—your brain doesn't have the processing power to run this operation smoothly.

How to Function (or at Least Pretend To) When Your Brain is Running on Dial-Up

Let's face it—your brain has one job, and even that is a struggle. Some days, it's firing on all cylinders. Other days, it's buffering harder than a YouTube video on 2003 dial-up. And when the brain fog rolls in? Good fucking luck.

But fear not! Through the power of bullshitting your way through life, you too can survive daily cognitive malfunctions. Below are some highly effective (read: barely functional) techniques to help you navigate your day like a somewhat competent adult. Will they fix your brain? Absolutely not. Will they help you fake it well enough to avoid excessive concern from your friends and family? Probably

Brain fog meets its match… theoretically. The plan? Write everything down. The reality? A chaotic explosion of neon-colored reminders that you will absolutely forget to check.

Step 1: Write it down.

Your brain is unreliable, but a sticky note never forgets. Scribble that important reminder before it disappears into the void.

Step 2: Write down where you put the first note.

Because let's be honest, that sucker is going missing within the hour. You'd think something fluorescent pink would be easy to find, but somehow, your past self hid it from you.

Step 3: Hope you remember to actually check the damn thing.

Sticky notes are only useful if you actually look at them before they become a depressing scrapbook of forgotten intentions. Finding an old note that says "Call the doctor" from six months ago isn't exactly helpful at this point.

Sticky Note Pro Tips

📝 Overdo It. The only way to beat your own forgetfulness is with sheer quantity. Plaster sticky notes everywhere. On your desk, your fridge, your forehead—whatever it takes.

📝 Strategic Placement. Put them where you're most likely to see them. Example: If you always forget your meds, slap a note on the coffee machine. If you forget to drink water, tape one to your face.

📝 Beware of Past You. Sometimes, you are your own worst enemy. That cryptic note that just says "Don't forget!!!" with no context? Past-you fucked you over again.

At the end of the day, sticky notes are only as effective as your ability to outsmart your own brain fog. Good luck with that.

That thought? It's fucking gone. Vanished. Wiped from existence. Probably chilling in the same black hole as your missing sock, your childhood dreams, and every clever comeback you needed five minutes too late. But sure, go ahead and lie to yourself—tell yourself it'll pop back into your head eventually. Lying to yourself is free, after all.

Let's be honest, though. It's not coming back. You'll sit there, squinting, mentally retracing your steps like you're trying to reverse-engineer your own thoughts. You might even get a fake sense of hope when you feel like it's right there—on the tip of your tongue, just barely out of reach. And then? Poof. Gone again.

And when it does finally return? It'll be at 3 AM, when you're lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, way too late to be useful. But at least you can enjoy that brief moment of victory before immediately forgetting why it even mattered in the first place.

So yeah, keep telling yourself it'll come back. It's a comforting lie. Just don't hold your breath.

Because your keys, phone, and sanity are always in a new, mysterious location—and by mysterious, I mean somewhere so stupid that past-you deserves a smack in the head for putting it there.

When looking for a missing object, start with the most illogical place first. You'd be amazed how often your phone ends up in the fridge, your coffee cup takes a field trip to the bathroom, or your TV remote cozies up in the pantry. And of course, the moment you finally give up, there it is, sitting in plain sight, mocking you.

And let's not forget the genius wisdom of the ages: "It'll be in the last place you look."

Oh? No shit, Sherlock. Who the fuck keeps looking for something after they've found it?

"Wow, I finally found my car keys! Better keep searching, just in case I locate a spare set I didn't know existed."

If that's how your brain operates, congrats—you've officially leveled up to Advanced Dumbassery. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to remember why we walked into the room in the first place.

You forgot what you were doing. Again. No clue what you were looking for, why you stood up, or why you're suddenly standing in the middle of a room like a malfunctioning NPC. What now?

Easy. Start checking shit.

Open drawers. Check your phone tabs. Walk into random rooms with purpose, hoping something will trigger a memory. Hell, pat your pockets like a detective looking for a clue. You have no idea what you're searching for, but goddammit, you're searching.

If you're lucky, something clicks. You spot your water bottle and remember you were thirsty. You see your laptop and recall you needed to check an email. Boom—mission accomplished.

If not? Congrats—you've just entered a side quest of your own making. You'll now spend the next 20 minutes organizing a drawer, checking old notifications, and somehow end up scrolling TikTok before realizing you never figured out what you were supposed to be doing in the first place. Good luck finding your way back to the main storyline.

Did you forget to respond to a message? Miss an important reminder? Zone out during a Zoom meeting and have zero recollection of what was said? No problem. Just do what every modern human does—blame technology.

The best part? Nobody questions it. In a world where technology actually does screw up, who's going to argue? Works 9 out of 10 times. That last time? Well, fuck that person for keeping track.

• "Weird, my phone must not have sent that text." (Translation: I read it, forgot to reply, and now I need a socially acceptable excuse.)
• "Ugh, my notifications have been acting up." (Translation: I either ignored them or my brain filed them under 'meh' and moved on.)
• "The Wi-Fi must have cut out for a second." (Translation: I wasn't paying attention, but I need everyone to think it was an external issue, not my brain glitching out.)

When all else fails, outsource the problem. Casually ask someone nearby, "Hey, do you remember what I was just doing?" If you're lucky, they'll remind you, and you can pretend like you totally knew all along.

If you're not lucky?

At this point, you have two choices:

1. Double down. Squint, look serious, and mutter "Never mind… it'll come back to me." (It won't.)
2. Panic-flail your way into a new activity and hope whatever you were doing wasn't that important.

At the end of the day, rolling with the forgetfulness is your best bet. If anyone gives you shit for it, just remind them

• Best case: They make an educated guess, and you roll with it like that was the plan all along.
• Worst case: They just stare at you with a mix of concern and mild disappointment, followed by a hesitant "Are you okay?"
• Absolute worst case: They also forgot. Now you're both screwed.
• At least goldfish seem happy.
• And they don't have to pay bills.
• And they'll never experience the existential crisis of standing in the kitchen, holding a spoon, with no clue why they're there.

Final Thoughts: Just Roll With It

At the end of the day, you can either fight the brain fog or lean into the chaos. Sure, you might forget what you were doing, where you put things, or why you walked into a room—but does it really matter? Probably not. Half the time, you'll stumble onto something equally important (or at least entertaining).

So, embrace the nonsense. Keep a stash of sticky notes, perfect your I totally meant to do that face, and, when all else fails, just bullshit your way through. If anyone gives you crap, remind them that goldfish seem pretty damn happy—and they don't have to deal with taxes, medical bills, or the crushing reality of misplaced car keys.