My Immune System is an Asshole

MS Chronicles

5 minutes reading time (921 words)

Breaking It Down for Friends and Family

ms-family-holiday

Ah, the holidays. A magical time for family, food, and dodging questions from Aunt Karen about "what's really wrong with you." If you've ever tried to explain multiple sclerosis (MS) to your loved ones and been met with blank stares or unsolicited health advice, this one's for you. Let's break it down in terms everyone can understand (and maybe laugh about). 

What Exactly is MS?

Imagine your immune system is run by a group of drunk B cells who can't tell friend from foe. Normally, these little idiots are supposed to help protect me from viruses and bacteria. But with MS, they're mistaking the protective coating around my nerves (called myelin) for something dangerous and calling in the T cells to destroy it.

This destruction leaves scars—hence the "sclerosis" in multiple sclerosis. And because parts of my brain and spinal cord now look like a scratched-up CD, signals trying to travel between my brain and body either take way more energy, fail miserably, or cause all kinds of random symptoms. It's like trying to stream Netflix with spotty Wi-Fi—frustrating, unreliable, and way more effort than it should be.

The Symptoms (A.K.A. My Daily Reality)

MS symptoms are like a really bad mystery box subscription. Every day, I get a new surprise, and trust me, none of it is cute. Here's a taste:

  • Fatigue: Not your "I stayed up watching TikTok" kind of tired. More like "I fought a bear in my sleep and lost" tired.
  • Pain: Ever have joints so achy that you felt like you got hit by a bus? No? Lucky you.
  • Mobility Issues: Some days, I'm graceful as a gazelle. Other days, I'm auditioning for the role of "wobbly toddler."
  • Brain Fog: Forgetting why I walked into a room or losing my coffee five times in an hour isn't quirky—it's my brand now. Or forgetting words mid sentence- that's a blast.
  • Cramps: Oh, you thought charley horses were bad? Try cramps that start in your feet and crawl up your legs like an angry toddler with claws.
  • Tremors: Who needs steady hands? Shaking is just my new party trick.
  • Numbness & Tingling: Like pins and needles, except it doesn't go away and occasionally makes you wonder if your limbs are still attached.
  • Insomnia: Because sleeping is for quitters, apparently.
  • Weakness: I'd open that jar for you, but I'll probably dislocate something in the process.
  • Itching: Pathologic itching so bad, I look like I'm auditioning for a flea commercial.
  • Temperature Regulation Gone Wild: My body can't decide if I'm in a sauna or an icebox. One minute I'm freezing, the next I'm sweating like I ran a marathon. Repeat until I lose my patience or sanity.
  • Vertigo: Feeling like I'm on a rollercoaster, but without the fun part where it eventually stops.
  • Depression & Anxiety: Thanks, MS, for making my brain and body fight for the title of "biggest overachiever."
  • Vision Problems: Blurry, double vision, or the fun game of "what even is this blob I'm looking at?"
  • Over Active Bladder: Because nothing says "fun" like adding bathroom emergencies to the mix.

Oh, and the best part? It's all unpredictable. One day I'm fine, the next I'm a human sloth. Fun times.

What MS Isn't

Let's clear up a few things before Cousin Larry starts Googling cures at the dinner table and ends up getting punched:

  • MS isn't contagious. You can hug me without catching my defective immune system. I promise.
  • MS isn't consistent. Just because I look fine doesn't mean I'm not ready to collapse into a heap of regret and exhaustion.
  • MS isn't curable. So unless you're a scientist with a breakthrough, please hold off on the "Have you tried yoga and kale?" comments.
  • My MS isn't unmanaged. I've got a neurologist on speed dial, a pharmacy that knows me by name, and I'm on a Disease Modifying Therapy (DMT) that works hard to suppress my rogue B cells and stop them from being assholes. While it doesn't fix the damage already done, it helps slow down the chaos. So yeah, I'm doing my part and don't need advice or wacky holistic cure recommendations.

How You Can Support Me

You want to help? Great! Here's how to be less annoying and more awesome this holiday season:

  1. Be Patient: If I ghost the family game night, it's not you—it's me (and my MS being an overdramatic diva).
  2. Ask Questions: Curious about MS? Ask away! Just don't hit me with "But you don't look sick." Trust me, I've heard that one too many times.
  3. Adjust Expectations: Maybe I can't climb a ladder to hang lights or wrestle a turkey out of the oven. Let's keep things low-key, shall we?
  4. Lend a Hand: Offer me the comfy chair. Carry the gravy boat. Crown me holiday royalty. I won't say no.
  5. Skip the Crowds: My depleted B cells mean I'm immunocompromised, so large gatherings of coughing strangers are basically my worst nightmare. Keep it small and cozy, and we're good.

Why This Matters

Living with MS is like hosting a party where your body is the drunk guest who won't stop breaking shit. Exhausting? Yes. Predictable? Nope. Painful? Yep. But having a family that actually "gets it" makes cleaning up the mess a little easier.

So this holiday season, let's keep it real: love, laughter, and making sure Aunt Karen doesn't leave with my leftovers. I'll bring the brain fog, fatigue, and sarcasm—you bring the holiday cheer and a little patience. Deal?

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