Let's face it: the term "self-care" has been hijacked by Instagram influencers who think a $50 bath bomb is the cure for all your problems. If it could fix chronic illness, we'd all be soaking 24/7. But for those of us with MS, "self-care" can't be reduced to a hashtag or a pretty Instagram flatlay. Real self-care involves figuring out how to survive the chaos of a body that constantly betrays you—and sometimes, it feels like the things you're doing to help aren't helping at all. If your self-care routine feels more like a chore than actual care, here's why—and how to fix it.
You're Doing What Everyone Else Says You Should Do
Generic advice is everywhere: "Drink herbal tea!" "Start yoga!" "Just think positive!" But let's be real—some of that just doesn't cut it when your body is staging a coup. Self-care is deeply personal, and copying someone else's routine might leave you feeling frustrated instead of cared for.
Fix it:
Find what actually works f
or you. Maybe it's something tried-and-true like journaling to track symptoms, patterns, and wins (
shameless plug for the MS Sucks journal), or maybe it's something unique, like sitting in a dark room blasting your favorite podcast. Whatever it is, if it helps make your day suck a little less, it's worth doing.
You're Ignoring Your Body's SOS Signals
You can't bath-bomb your way out of dehydration or meditate through severe fatigue. If you're not addressing the basics—like sleep, hydration, and nutrition—your self-care routine is just window dressing on a collapsing building.
Fix it:
Start with the essentials: drink water—but let's make it less boring. If plain water feels like punishment, there are tons of options to spice it up. Try a Cirkul bottle with sugar-free flavors, or toss in a packet of something like Liquid IV to boost electrolytes and vitamins. Staying hydrated doesn't have to be a chore—find what makes it enjoyable (or at least tolerable) and stick with it.
Next, eat something with actual nutrients. It doesn't have to be Instagram-worthy. Prepared meals, protein shakes, or even snacks like trail mix can do the trick. The goal is to fuel your body, not win a culinary award.
Finally, prioritize sleep. Yes, naps count, and no, "powering through" is not a badge of honor. If your body is begging for rest, listen to it. And hey, if you're journaling your symptoms, use that to spot patterns—maybe you're not hydrating enough on fatigue-heavy days, or you're skimping on sleep before flare-ups. Paying attention to these signals can help you stay one step ahead of your body's chaos.
You're Over-complicating It
If your self-care routine has more steps than a full-blown skincare regimen, no wonder it's not working. When you're managing MS, the last thing you need is to feel overwhelmed by a routine that's supposed to make life easier. But here's the thing: if that full-blown skincare regimen does make you happy, then go for it! The point is to focus on what brings you joy, not to check off someone else's list of what "self-care" should look like.
Fix it:
Simplify. Choose one or two small things that make you feel better right now, even if that means scrapping the complicated stuff. Maybe that's a nap in the middle of the day, sipping coffee in silence, or giving yourself permission to say "no" to someone (or something). But if layering serums and moisturizers is your jam because it makes you feel like a glowing queen, then absolutely make time for it.
The key is to focus on what feels good to you. Self-care isn't a one-size-fits-all prescription—it's a pick-your-own-adventure. Whether it's as simple as lying down with your favorite blanket or as intricate as a 10-step skincare routine, let self-care be about doing what you enjoy and what makes you feel a little more human.
You're Trying to Do It All Alone
If you think self-care means you have to shoulder everything by yourself; you're wrong. Chronic illness is isolating enough without trying to go full lone wolf on your care.
Fix It:
Lean on your support network. Whether it's asking a friend to help with errands, delegating chores to family, or even venting to your dog (they totally get it), self-care can mean letting others pitch in. And no, it doesn't make you weak—it makes you smart.
You're Forgetting the Fun Stuff
If your self-care routine is all about managing symptoms but leaves out the stuff that actually brings you joy, of course it feels like it's not working. Self-care isn't just about survival—it's about finding those little moments that remind you life isn't all bad. Let's face it, if you're not carving out time for things that make you smile, you're missing the whole point.
Fix It:
Schedule in something that makes you genuinely happy. Maybe that's watching a ridiculous comedy, cuddling your pet, or diving into a hobby that makes you lose track of time.
Speaking of hobbies, if you're anything like me, you probably have Hobby ADHD—gardening one day, binge-watching TV series the next, then moving on to 3D printing, or even drone flying, or smoking something on my outdoor kitchen, or making pizzas in my pizza oven.
One week, you're volunteering; the next, you're remodeling something around the house or digging graves (it's a thing, feel free to ask me about it). And let's not forget crafting homemade spirits with "a creative little apparatus" that shall remain unnamed. The point is, whatever brings you joy—even if it changes daily or weekly—is worth making time for.
Life's hard enough when your body is staging a coup; don't forget to embrace the things that make you laugh, relax, or feel a sense of accomplishment. Joy isn't a luxury—it's an essential part of surviving and thriving.
Conclusion
Self-care isn't about perfection, and it's definitely not about following someone else's script. It's about finding what works for you and giving yourself the grace to change it up when needed. If your routine isn't working, pause, reassess, and remember: you're allowed to rewrite the rules. After all, the only person who knows what you need most is you.
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